Sunday, October 31

Things no one told me...

There were several things that have happened that Mark and I have continuously found ourselves asking, "Why didn't anyone tell us this?!" I thought I might make a list of things that I can remember thus far to happen to maybe not send anyone else in shock like I have been.

1. You will not be able to poop for what may be WEEKS after giving birth (c-section or vaginal)

2.You will bleed vaginally, even if you have a c-section. I'm still bleeding. I guess I am making up for all those lovely maxi pads I didn't have to use during my pregnancy.

3. If you decide not to breastfeed, or can't, whatever the case, no one told me it is some of the most excruciating pain you will ever go through when you have to "dry up." I actually was up one night for hours screaming into a pillow, packing gallon size ziplock bags of ice on my chest, and crying. It's been one week, and I'm still pretty sore.

4. They say, "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Yea right! Let me break this down for you. The baby (at least Dylan) wakes up every three hours on the dot! Once you go through the routine of changing the diaper, feeding him, burping him, feeding some more, burping more, changing another diaper, rocking him to sleep, cleaning to bottle, prepares for the next bottle, take a second and go to the bathroom yourself, crawl back into bed, you MIGHT have an hour left to go to sleep, but if you don't fall asleep right away, get used to only sleeping 20 minutes, if that.

I know there is more I can add to this list, because there are always things coming up. I guess I'll add more when I think of it and I'm not so sleep deprived!


Tuesday, October 26

1 Week update

Now that it has been almost 2 weeks since Dylan was born, I guess I should update everyone on our first week at home. It has been quite the experience. I am slowly adding to this post day by day because I haven't had time to sit down and fully write it.

Dylan was the perfect sweet little baby that slept all day and never cried at the hospital. The nurses kept making sly remarks saying, "Yeah, well wait 'til you get home..." O.K., they were right.

 Daddy's lil' rocker
 1 weeks worth of dirty diapers!
 Hangin' out in his Mamaroo

Since coming home, Dylan developed horrible horrible gas pains where he just has blood curdling screaming fits. We can actually feel the gas moving through his back all of the time. I am not sure how to prevent it, and yes, I have called the pediatrician. They recommended we stick to the Mylicon drops before and after each time he eats and try to wait it out. We have his two week check up coming up this Thursday and I am anxious to see what they say this time, because we have had a lot of changes since his 1 week check up at the doctor where he was still the perfect, no problems, sweet, little (well, not little... he gained all of his birth weight back and then some! up to 7 lbs. and 10 oz. this time), breastfed (I included this characteristic and you will see why the more you read) baby. It was the day after his appointment where all of the trouble seemed to start happening. Many have relayed it to my diet and made sure I wasn't eating anything that could gas for him such as dairy products, chocolate, acidy foods and drinks like orange juice, strawberries (who knew!), eggs (who knew, again!), etc. The list can go on and you can read of so many food to try and avoid while breastfeeding online like I did. It left everyone and myself wondering what I could actually eat! It's so much more to avoid and worse than when you're pregnant! I didn't have much of a problem paying attention to what I was eating because I was hardly eating at all. I was feeling so exhausted the entire time I didn't even feel like eating. Apparently, this is odd. I guess you should be extrememly hungry from breastfeeding and what not, but I didn't know this. This leads into how the 1st week home has been for me...

Aside from Dylan's horrible gas pains/colic or whatever all of it is, we have had quite the number of issues show up with me since being home. I mentioned not having an appetite, well that was just one symptom of what I was am experiencing. My mom came and spent the entire week with us and there were several times that she would relieve me from Dylan's fussing and let me sleep. It led to many times of me sleeping for several hours and then feeling as though I could not even get myself out of bed, even with the more rest I was getting. We kept thinking it was still my body adjusting to the sleepless nights. On Saturday, I began feeling extremely achy. I could barely move my arms without being in pain and my back was killing me. I felt like I had the flu. That evening, we noticed, I still did not want to eat anything and when I started chilling, we took my temperature, which was 100. I began uncontrollably shaking and in a lot of pain. My mom finally convinced me to call the doctor. When we got the call back, the nurse asked me if I was feeling in pain in my breasts. Sure enough, I was. I didn't even think about it, but it was almost unbearable to even touch my right one. I was in a lot of pain while breastfeeding and pumping, as well. She explained that all of the symptoms led her to believe I have Mastitis.

I was placed on antibiotics and have been trying all of the "tricks" to try and get rid of the infection. We have found it to be more stressful, with me having to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed him (in horrible pain while doing it) and then pump right afterwards (in pain while doing it, too.)

I had to make a hard first Mommy decision today and have decided to stop breastfeeding. We have started Dylan on formula today and I am trying to get more rest (yea right!) I called and spoke to the OB and his Pediatrician about all of this and they were very supportive, (while I was crying to both of them on the phone). This was not the decision I ever wanted to make. I wanted to breastfeed my baby. To be honest, I feel like a complete failure and I'm even crying as I type this. I have always thought that if someone else can do it, so can I. I am still very upset and sad about this change, but hope that it will bring a little peace and hopefully, I will see that I made the right decision for Dylan and myself. I now have to continue taking my antibiotics and hope that I start to feel like normal again, as I have been justing making the entire situation worse by not having any rest. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this hard life transition, as we are feeling we need all of the help we can get and all I keep thinking is - I want my Mommy!

Monday, October 18

BIRTH day!

I was only able to sleep about an hour and a half the night before the big day. I was so anxious and did not know what to expect. We woke up around 4 A.M. since we needed to arrive at the hospital between 5 and 5:30.

Once we got to the hospital, they wasted no time getting me prepared for surgery. Everything went so fast I didn't have time to even think about what was about to happen. Mark and I were able to take one last preggo picture before I had to change into my hospital gown with my special occasion shirt that says "It's A Boy!"

As soon as I was all changed, they came in and immediately got my IV going (not knowing this then, but this was the most painful part) I am not an "easy stick" when it comes to getting blood drawn, etc., so this was quite the task and extremely painful. After signing my life away, they brought the wheelchair in the room and we were off to surgery. Time was flying by.

They wheeled me into the entryway to the OR and as I was sitting there with Mark, a rush of emotions I could not control came over me. I have no way of describing my feelings at this moment and began crying uncontrollably. They has the anesthesiologist come over to us and begin explaining everything that was going to take place. I know he was talking, but I heard nothing coming out of his mouth. My doctor came over and saw the shape I was in. I remember her telling me that I was having a panic attack (I have never had one of these, but I believe this must have been it)

The most difficult part was when they had to take me back to get my spinal anesthetic and leave Mark waiting outside. Everyone tried to prepare me several times about how the spinal would feel and how to arch my back and not move under and circumstances. Turns out, the tiny burn and prick in my back was NOTHING compared to the IV getting put in my arm! I actually kept thinking that the real pain and needle must be coming soon, even as they were lifting my tingling legs on to the hospital bed. Next thing I knew, I was so incredibly sleepy. I could not feel anything, but most of all, I could barely stay awake. I was actually getting concerned that I would not be able to stay awake enough to see the birth. I remember hearing them speak to several nurses in the room that must have been students and allowing one of them to come over and "practice" putting my catheter in - nice.  

The big cloth went up in front of my face and I remember barely being able to whisper that I was feeling sick. Turns out, I was getting sick and began vomiting. Finally, Mark appeared to my side and ended up having to hold my "barf bag", lol! He didn't even know what it was or what he was holding until I started throwing up everywhere and he had it in his hands, lol.

Neither one of us knew they had even started the procedure and within a matter of seconds, I heard them telling me that I would feel a lot of pressure and, sure enough, I did. It felt as if someone was pushing their body and banging me against a brick wall. At times, I felt like I couldn't breathe, but just kept my eyes on Mark. He held my hand really tight and stayed looking at me. All of a sudden, I heard Dylan cry and Mark was rushed off to the side to start helping tidy him up.

Dylan Michael Rhoads
Born October 13, 2010
7:54 A.M.
7lbs. 6oz.
20 in. long

Sunday, October 10

Dylan's Room: Take Two

Have I mentioned that this room is my favorite room? I actually wonder if it is because it has come together so nicely, or if it is because I just love everything baby! I have been waiting to post new pictures of the nursery until I had the wonderful crib my Dad is (supposedly) making arrive, but since it looks like my baby will be sleeping on the floor, here are the pictures thus far...

I blogged a few weeks ago about buying these adorable hot air balloons for his room, but since I am OCD and do not like anything in another color that does not MATCH the colors of his room, I had to figure out a way to repaint them. I did! I did it! It wasn't easy. I had to cut the netting at the top apart, paint one stripe at a time, and then sew it all back together at the top. I am so proud of myself and how they turned out!

Not only am I proud of my little hot air balloon painting skills, I decided that instead of paying $40 a frame (that's on sale, folks!) from RH Baby & Child, I could make frames to look the exact same. I did. I bought three plain white frames and then got a little can of RH Baby & Child's sample paint and painted the stripes on to the frames. They turned out good!

Can everyone please take a moment and look at the picture above. Folded on the mattress, you will see the matrress pad and the little polka dotted fitted crib sheet. I watched the Oprah episode last week with Martha Stewart on it and she went over the steps on how to fold a fitted sheet. I had to rewind and replay that part of the show at least 18 times, but I was finally able to fold this little fitted sheet. I got so excited, I went and grabbed the big King size sheet from our bedroom that was all wadded up (my attempt to fold it) and tried it again! No such luck. I guess it was a one time thing and I would like everyone to see how perfect that little sheet looks!

 I am looking for something to store all of the sweet baby blankets we have received. I just can't fathom spending over $100 on the matching basket that goes with the room. Any suggestions? The blankets are nicely folded sitting on the floor next to the rocking chair.

We are still waiting on some adorable baskets (matching the colors of the room, of course) that the diapers will be stored in and all of the toys on the little shelf below the hot air balloons will have matching polka dotted baskets to hide them, as well. Mark is going to repaint the little rocking horse because it sticks out like a sore thumb and what else is missing...?? Oh yes..... a crib????

We have also had major projects occurring on the outside of our home for the past month. I will post those pictures soon!

No longer a Rockstar

Throughout my pregnancy I had several suggestions to get "Rockstar" paint done on my toes, since I was having a hard time reaching my feet and painting my toes. Apparently, the paint stays on for WEEKS and I wouldn't have to worry about it peeling, chipping, or fading. I went ahead and splurged and paid the $55 bucks to have these Vietnamese people do this to my feet (it was basically colored fill from fake nails put on my toes) and I got pretty worried what I was in for when they had to get out their little sanders and stuff. Well, it looked good. It did, in fact, last for weeks! Only problem: What do you do when your nail starts growing out? Luckily, my nails don't grow too fast, but these past two weeks, they were looking down right ugly. I had to do something. Apparently, you can go and get them "filled" like fake nails, but you have to go to the exact same place and you have to keep the same color. I like changing colors. A lot. So, yesterday, Mark and I decided to go and get them re-done. I hate going to nail places. I think it hurts. I don't like the sanders they use or the clippers; the list could go on. I was trying to be brave, but it HURT! I kept saying "ow!" and then, of course, they would all look and start talking their language to each other. Then, I would have some of them come by and look at my feet, say something to the guy doing my nails, and then walk away. This went on for quite a while. I am not sure if I was getting overheated, or just upset at the situation, but I had to ask for water and then excuse myself to the restroom to splash water all over my face and lay down for like 20 minutes. Not sure what happened, but I think I had them all worried. I finally told the guy, five times (like he couldn't understand me) to just get the stuff off of my feet and then put regular polish on, because I don't think I can handle being a rockstar anymore! He agreed. When I went to pick polish, I had a flashback of one of the blogs I read. Some of you might actually follow Megan's blog, too, but she did a post on Teal Toes. She just gave birth to a baby boy, Cohen, this summer and unfortuneately, they lost him due to a rare heart condition. The blog is wonderful, yet very depressing for me to read most of the time. I found myself just sitting and crying while reading a lot of her posts this summer.

Teal Toes aims to spread the word about ovarian cancer awareness. Here is the site.

Needless to say, I chose the color teal for my toes. I'm not a rockstar anymore, either. If you were thinking about becoming a rockstar, I hope this blog helped you., or maybe, it just helped you chose the next color for your toes! If you love having fake nails and don't mind keeping the same color, I'd say they are great. I'm just not meant for that lifestyle, lol.

My teal toes...
This little lady got in the picture because she will not leave my side these days.

Friday, October 1

Catch-Up: 36 weeks

No, this isn't a picture from the side because I wanted to show off my cute Future Red Raider Coming Soon... shirt. It has taken a very LONG time to finally get this shirt due to copyright issues and such, but hey look at me! I got it! With a Double T on it! Go me!
...and Go Red Raiders!

Week: 36

Total weight gain/loss: So much for losing weight.. I keep gaining again. He just keeps getting bigger! I normally am shy to say how much I weigh, but who care now, right? I weighed in at a whopping 161 lbs. this past week! Holy moly!

Sleep: I'm having a difficult time sleeping lately. It seems that I am very tired, but just very achy feeling. I end up having to get up about an hour after trying to go to bed to get myself some Tylenol and that helps me fall asleep. Only problem is that I seem to need Tylenol as soon as I wake up, too, because I am so achy then, too.

Best moment this week: Not sure if I have had a "best moment". I am just READY. You wouldn't believe how many times I have been told that no one expected me to make it this long and still working, but I think I am the one in the most shock about it. I keep having the school nurse take my blood pressure, hoping it is high (I know, that is so wrong), but I am so uncomfortable. This week I literally was trying to figure out a way to describe how it feels when I walk and then it came to me! It feels like I am trying to walk through water in a swimming pool. You know, it is kind of hard to do and that is exactly how it feels. Of course, my blood pressure has been perfect this entire pregnancy. I do seem to have a LOT of swelling now. You can actually push your thumb on my leg and it leaves an indentation. Pretty gross. 

Movement: He seems to be in a routine that I am now noticing of when he likes to bounce around a lot. He really gets going every time that I am leaving for school in the morning and it kind of hurts when I drive. It may be how I sit in the car, but I sure can feel everything!

Food cravings: I really haven't been craving much of anything lately. I seem to be very thirsty a lot of the time and when you just keep drinking water, it starts to taste pretty blah. So, I have been making tons of big pitchers full of Crystal Light.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope. I was even a champ when one of the little sweeties in my class threw up all over the place in my classroom the other day. Go me. lol

Have you started to show yet?: Bahaha! People keep teasing me that they can't imagine there is any room left for this baby to go! I've also had lots of teasing that I am stretching out a lot of my clothing! Nice.

Leakage: Like a champ!

Labor signs: Not sure... I have had a lot of back pain and stuff, but I have had that from the beginning, so it's hard to say.

Belly button In or Out: Still in.... can you believe it?? It is stretched out, but still IN! :)

Wedding ring On or Off: I have it off, just as a precaution.

Happy or Moody most of the time: I have my random break-downs still, but nothing too terrible. I have realized that most of my moodiness comes from feeling alone. It is difficult to put so much pressure on Mark right now to help me when I am feeling sick, do work on the house, help me clean, get things ready around here, etc., etc., etc., but he is really all that I have to depend on. My family and friends mostly live in Dallas, so they can't be here to help pick up the pieces and it is difficult. I also start to get anxiety when I start thinking about how I will feel the same way and not know what I am doing when Dylan is here. My parents will not be able to stay with me for very long because they still work and have jobs to get to. Mark has now started stripping cotton and I am dreading him being gone for even longer hours than he already is. I am trying to tell myself to just take it one day at a time, but I am a worry-wart, like I always have been.

Countdown: 12 days...